"But then I realized I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed, didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike. And we could wish all day long that they didn't But they will always will."
I had been into a 5 year relationship. And now it's over.
Oh yes, I am hurting. I am at this point where I really don't know if I am still hoping or ready to let go.How could it be this hard.
Letting go is indeed not an easy task. Beautiful memories we've shared. We knew each other bits and pieces and suddenly we seemed unfamiliar with each other. How did this happen?
I have my faults of course. I became too selfish. I became too confident of our love that I didn't notice I was hurting him. I didn't realized that I was pushing him away and my not being there when I was needed led him closer to a different person.I feel so much of a loser now. I know I am to be blamed for where we are now. I've asked him to wait for me without giving him a clear picture of when I will be ready to take the risk, but I guess we can only be so patient in our lives that there will come a time we would have to give up. And I can't blame him for choosing to give up on me now.So here I am, in pain, crying. Struggling to face this difficult journey. In time, I know I will also outgrew this pain. For now, I really don't know how to go about this, for now, I really don't know how can I move forward. How painful it is to see yourself, here blogging, while the other party is there having a great time with his new found love.
Maybe I am jealous, maybe I wished I was the one he is with while watching that concert. I knew i did everything I could to be the best partner I could be, but maybe it was really not the best, maybe it was not enough that he found someone else that can fill those shortcomings that I had in our relationship.I know it's easy to say that you wish the other person happiness, that you wish they'll be happy together, but deep within that hope is the pain going through all of me because the truth is, I am wishing that the happiness is shared with me.It's too late for me to regret the things I didn't do.
It's too late for me to wish for another chance because He has made a choice. The things I didn't give up are the things his new found love had readily given up to be with him. So tell me, how do I beat that?! I am still hurting at this time, not a day would passed that I won't cry. But I can only blame myself for all these. Afterall I gave him all the reasons to look for someone else. I don't want to leave him. It really hurts me inside. But he is all ready to leave and let me go, so where do I pick up myself?
I miss you. You will always be the biggest part of me. It will never be an I love you goodbye, because I will love you forever.
I hope in time I can really wish you well and your new partner sincere joy and happiness. I hope in time, I'll be ready to see you both in each other's arm, because right now I know I am still wishing it was with me. I hope someday I will be ready to let you go.
I had been into a 5 year relationship. And now it's over.
Oh yes, I am hurting. I am at this point where I really don't know if I am still hoping or ready to let go.How could it be this hard.
Letting go is indeed not an easy task. Beautiful memories we've shared. We knew each other bits and pieces and suddenly we seemed unfamiliar with each other. How did this happen?
I have my faults of course. I became too selfish. I became too confident of our love that I didn't notice I was hurting him. I didn't realized that I was pushing him away and my not being there when I was needed led him closer to a different person.I feel so much of a loser now. I know I am to be blamed for where we are now. I've asked him to wait for me without giving him a clear picture of when I will be ready to take the risk, but I guess we can only be so patient in our lives that there will come a time we would have to give up. And I can't blame him for choosing to give up on me now.So here I am, in pain, crying. Struggling to face this difficult journey. In time, I know I will also outgrew this pain. For now, I really don't know how to go about this, for now, I really don't know how can I move forward. How painful it is to see yourself, here blogging, while the other party is there having a great time with his new found love.
Maybe I am jealous, maybe I wished I was the one he is with while watching that concert. I knew i did everything I could to be the best partner I could be, but maybe it was really not the best, maybe it was not enough that he found someone else that can fill those shortcomings that I had in our relationship.I know it's easy to say that you wish the other person happiness, that you wish they'll be happy together, but deep within that hope is the pain going through all of me because the truth is, I am wishing that the happiness is shared with me.It's too late for me to regret the things I didn't do.
It's too late for me to wish for another chance because He has made a choice. The things I didn't give up are the things his new found love had readily given up to be with him. So tell me, how do I beat that?! I am still hurting at this time, not a day would passed that I won't cry. But I can only blame myself for all these. Afterall I gave him all the reasons to look for someone else. I don't want to leave him. It really hurts me inside. But he is all ready to leave and let me go, so where do I pick up myself?
I miss you. You will always be the biggest part of me. It will never be an I love you goodbye, because I will love you forever.
I hope in time I can really wish you well and your new partner sincere joy and happiness. I hope in time, I'll be ready to see you both in each other's arm, because right now I know I am still wishing it was with me. I hope someday I will be ready to let you go.